Long Distance Relationship is bothering you?
A long distance relationship starts when your partner decides to choose their career over love.
This thought about them choosing their career first can make you feel alone in the process. That is why a lot of long distance relationship fails.
Why People Break Up Before even Long Distance Relationship Starts?
It could be due to the following reasons:
- You can’t handle the distance.
- You do not trust your partner from far away.
- You were never ready for it.
- You are emotionally weak to handle a distance.
- You do not want to wait for someone while they decide to focus on themselves.
- You do not want to move out with them in the future.
- You do not love them.
Yes, People do fall apart even before Long distance relationship starts.
We Share True Instances:
She broke the news to me about her future plans when I was in a relationship for more than 7 months.
It was hard to accept the reality that she will fly away from me forever because she wanted that life more than me.
It’s even harder to accept the change when you are someone who feels strong and happy when you have your partner by your side.
It even sucks when you never wanted this in your life and you just wish to fall back in time to stop yourself from falling in love with this person who you may never see again.
But, it was going to happen and there is no way you could stop it. It’s even worse when you love that person so much and all you can do is just pray and wish the best for them.
Is it Fair To Stop them from going away?
Just like you, I supported my girl and did not even ask her once to stay with me. In your mind, you want them to stay but your heart wants things to happen their way because you can’t see them sad at all.
We were together in India for more than 16 months until she left me and moved to the USA.
A long distance relationship can never be fun for people like me. Maybe, you can relate with me probably that’s why you landed upon my article.
I’m a very emotional person who can break down very easily when I don’t have my loved ones around.
I grew up with a bad past that made me dependent on love so much that is why I stop thinking about myself when it comes to love.
What kind of nature can make long distance relationship hard for you?
I stop prioritising my goals, my family and my health when I feel like people don’t want me the way I want them.
It’s a turn off for strong people in this generation and I appreciate their way of living. This is the type of attitude you need to survive in today’s generation.
People have just given the term “long distance relationship” to love which diverts us away from the true meaning of it.
There is no term like true love. It’s just ‘Love’ and when you experience Love, there is nothing that can ever make you guys fall apart.
Long distance relationship is just a situation that is just a part of your love. It’s a test where you realise their true worth and it always works if the other person feels the same about you.
Why is distance bothering you?
The fact that they have a new life now and they will experience everything new scares you if they will miss you the way like you do.
The ugly truth is they may not feel the same and that is why you get that question in your mind whether a long distance relationship works or not?
It’s hard for you to focus on yourself the same way you used to do when you had your partner around you because you feel alone in the process and it’s okay to feel that way.
Is it worth having a long distance relationship with them?
You’re not selfish or wrong here, you just need to communicate how you feel about all this and the person in love on the other side of the world will make you feel better even from far away.
But if they do not understand this simple thing what you’re going through and blame you for not being understanding then it’s not the person you deserve!
Watching you in pain due to distance and fighting about not being understanding shows that this person is just testing your patience.
You yourself know if this relationship would work or not. But, once you figure out the reality I would request you to act accordingly and do not lose yourself in the process of loving someone.
How can you make a long distance relationship work?
A) Stop Expecting ‘too’ much but do not stop Expecting!
Things do change and you need to accept that. Try not to feel alone in this process and do not start expecting too much from your partner to make you feel better all the time about your thoughts and emotions.
They have new challenges every day and they might get exhausted handling the relationship at the same time. Expecting them to tell you about their day is a fair expectation that every long distance relationship needs.
But, It is unwise to be overly “sticky” and possessive. You two don’t really have to communicate 12 hours a day to keep the relationship going. Many couples think that they need to compensate for the distance by doing more. This is not true. And it might only make things worse. Soon you would get tired of “loving.”
B) It’s Just a Situation!
“If you want to live together, you first need to learn how to live apart.” – Anonymous
Instead of thinking that this long distance relationship is pulling you two apart, Consider it as a learning phase for both of you. you should believe that through this experience, the both of you will be bound together even stronger in the future.
C) Communicate What You Feel
Try to communicate your partner on your life and its happenings, and how do you feel without them.
Communicate in every way, send each other pictures, audio clips and short videos often. By putting in this kind of effort, you make the other person feel loved and attended to.
D) Get Nasty With your partner!
I get it you are emotional about not having them around you but talking dirty to your partner is much needed.
Sexual tension is undoubtedly one of the most important things between couples. Sex a biological need, it is an emotional one as well.
Keep the spark burning by sending each other teasing texts!
E) Avoid Such Situations.
If drinking late at night with your group of friends will displease your partner, then you should either Not do it or Tell your partner beforehand so as to reassure him/her.
If you do not reassure them then it’s only going to make your partner extra worried or extra suspicious, and of course, very upset, because you are putting him/her in a position where he/she feels powerless or lacking in control.
F) Plan Things Together
Today you can be together virtually in many ways. Share the same screen on your laptop using Anydesk and plan to watch a movie together.
Set the same time to have food together on a video call so that you do not feel disconnected from your partner. “Take a walk together” outside while video-calling each other. Go online shopping together and buy each other gifts.
G) Do not OverThink, Try to control!
You can self sabotage a relationship if you don’t stop overthinking about any kind of situation that does not go according to you.
I understand that some things can be out of control but overthinking stops your ability to analyse a situation and it can lead to bad decisions.
When somethings does not go according to you, try to stay off from social media as it can make you more anxious.
For example, if you are unhappy about something but you failed to communicate. Watching them uploading Reels or stories on Instagram can spoil your mood and force your mind to overthink situations that do not even exist.
H) Do not have any Filters!
Talk about every feeling. It could be a feeling of fear, insecurity, jealousy, whatsoever. If you start hiding things from your partner, that secret will swallow you up from inside out. Don’t try to fix things all by yourself. Be open and honest with each other. Let your partner help you and give you the support you need.
I) Know what they Usually Do!
It just makes you feel better when you know where are they busy. Share your schedule with each other because It’s helpful to know when the other person is busy and when he/she is free so that you can drop a text or make a call at the right time. You wouldn’t want to disturb your partner when he/she is in the middle of class or halfway through a business meeting.
Talking about random shit with your partner is fun. It keeps you connected to them and it could be a great stress buster for a long distance relationship. You can Keep each other updated on each other’s friends and family as well.
K) Plan a Visit!
After a long wait, you finally get to meet each other to fulfil all the little things like kissing, holding hands, etc. which are all common to other couples but so very special and extra intimate for people in long distance relationships.
It will be like fireworks and butterflies everywhere!
One does not make a long distance relationship work without putting efforts into it. You open up your heart to someone who is not even next to you.
It takes a lot of courage and strength to be part of this situation but once you are together in the future, it will all be worth it. Cheers!