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New 12 rules that helps you to start a conversation with her over text.

Vikram Sharma

Vikram Sharma

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Already read so many articles about what to text a girl? You will find something unique and helpful in every steps below that may help you to start and hold a good conversation with a girl over text.

Girls expect a guy to initiate a conversation. On the other hand, guys usually overthink about the attention she might be already getting that is why we find it difficult to approach a girl the right way.

  1. Texts get boring very quickly for a woman.
  2. 78% of people don’t text their crushes because they feel that this will annoy their crush.

Why do we hesitate to approach a girl?

There could be many reasons and we usually end up saying that I’m shy to talk to a girl. BUT, 

I want you to discover what exactly your problem is. 


  1. You think you lack communication skills.
  2. You feel under confident about yourself it could be your body type, dress sense or the fear of rejection.
  3. Maybe you have no experience with it.
  4. Maybe you fear what to type next after the introduction

Your homework is to find out what exactly do you feel before initiating a conversation with a girl over text. 

There are different types of girl, but every girl wants a guy who can start and hold a good conversation.  

You need to follow these rules in order to keep her engaged in a conversation with you. 

Rule number 1: Type correctly, Do not type like this:

Hey, how r u doing?

Wt are u doing?

So howz lyf?

This is a huge turn off for her and she might not reply if you will initiate a conversation this way. Always type correctly and do not use these short forms at all. 

Instead of using these short forms: 

Type properly: 

Hey, how are you doing?

What are you doing?

So how’s life?

Rule number 2: If you are texting her for the first time, Do not start your conversation with a 

simple hey!!



 found you on this dating app.

The ratio of guys are more than girls that is why she will most probably ignore your text as she is already getting so many similar messages. It’s just a good day if you still get a reply with just a simple greeting. 

Rule number 3: Do not send her long paragraphs as a first message, It will make you look desperate.


I know just a hey won’t be enough. So here putting in some extra efforts. This is me from this place, left my job and blah blah.

You will end your conversation this way before it even starts.

You are texting her online to know about her, she is not interested in you yet. So, why would you tell her about yourself? You need to remember that girls like to talk more usually. So, instead of opening your chat with such long messages, wait for the right time and then send a decent and classy message.

Rule number 4: Do not write a poem or a quote as a first message. You will end up like other guys in her DM who never got a reply. It’s just a laughing content for girls and it makes sense. Nobody wants to read such messages in the first place.

Rule number 5: Even if you saw her on any dating app, Do not start your first message like 

 Hey, found you on dating app. Can we talk? 

Now the question comes What should be the first message in order to initiate a conversation? 

But before this, It’s also important to figure out: 

When is the right time to send her the first text message?

Wait for her to perform any recent activity on her profile. It could be a new story upload or a picture upload. The story could be anything but the chances to get the reply increases when it’s a meme or a quote or it could be anything related to general topics expect her own picture. REMEMBER THAT, you need to stand out. Instead of replying beautiful or hot when she uploads her own picture you should wait for her to upload something else because along with you there will be so many other guys who will compliment on her picture but you need to stand OUT! 

If there is a story upload apart from her picture then make sure you raise the question related to that story so that she gets curious to answer you.

For example: If she uploads a movie quote, ask her what movie is this from?

Or, If she uploads a story with music in her background, ask her what song is it playing?

If she uploads a story of the food item, ask her where is this available? And probe her further by asking did you like it? 

This works almost every time. But If it doesn’t work at least you have an option to un send your message these days.

If it doesn’t work, what are other ways to send her the first text message?

Explore her Account

Look for the picture in her profile which could be about the cafe, restaurants or any other place where the location tag is not mentioned.

You can forward her own picture to the direct message and ask what place is this? Add on a compliment This looks beautiful. Here, you will make the first move without even looking desperate. 

  1. Surprise her!! 

This is the third plan to grab attention from someone who is unknown to you. Make sure you use this step only when there is an activity performed on her account. 

For example: Reply to any kind of story this way:

Guess what happened lol 

Are you serious about this?

This is will create curiosity in her. It’s basic human nature. The obvious reply that you could expect from her after this will be “what do you mean or what?

You can reply to “guess what happened lol” this wayNothing haha, just thought to randomly ask someone to suggest me their favorite music. Is there any song you are listening to these days? 

If she suggests you the music, send her a picture of your screen listening to that music and let her know how amazing it was. This is how you text a girl. This will help you to initiate a conversation by using surprise approach

Similarly, Your reply to “are you serious about this” could be: Haha I know it can be weird, Just tried to grab the random attention for some good music. Could you suggest me any song you’re listening to these days? I have exhausted my collection lol. I hope it’s fine with you. 

She will generally reply yes it is and will suggest you music and then you have to repeat the above step again in order to hold the conversation.

Important: Key to success is holding a good conversation. You really need to hold it that is why many people get confused about how to text her after the introduction. Do not worry, we will suggest you more rules that will help you carry the conversation with her. 

Rule number 6: Do not ask her short answer questions. 

For example: 

So how was your day?

How’s it going?

So where are you from?

All these questions are fine but it could lead to the end of the conversation leaving you with no options to continue it further. You can ask the above questions in such a way so that it doesn’t end with just one answer. 

For example: 

 “I was wondering what did you do all day? Maybe I could figure out to add on something to my schedule too.

She might say there is nothing productive but still, she will answer you completely and in most of the cases girls get excited to talk about her day.

“It’s nothing I could do about my day, I feel disappointed haha anyway what about you? I was wondering is there anything interesting going on at your end? Maybe I could figure out to add on something to my wish list too.”

This is how you need to write your text messages so that she does not reply with a one-word answer.

Rule number 7: Be a little cheesy and flirty when you text. Make sure you don’t overdo it. Just compliment her or flirt with her in a very healthy way.

Timings matters in this rule, otherwise you might end up looking creepy. 

Healthy flirt examples and the right time: 

For example : 

She says “I have a headache” 

You could reply: That’s sad, I wish I was there right next to you and I would have given you a massage. 

This is how you can flirt with her in a healthy way at the right time. 

So whenever a girl is trying to express her pain, be sweet to her and make her feel loved. It is the best time to use such kind of cheesy lines.

Also, there are times no matter how good your compliment is, girls usually just say thanks or send an emoji to you or maybe they will tell you that I don’t know what to say. If you get any such reply, you need to understand why would she reply like that. 

You can say:  I understand you must be getting a lot of these compliments and it could be boring for you. Anyway, what is that you would like to change about guys in this world if it’s possible to do? 

This is how you will be able to figure out much more about her.

Or, you can say: haha, you don’t know how to take compliments right? I think you get confused when someone compliments you which is completely fine haha. 

For example: Ask her what do you prefer? Coffee or tea? 

To her answer, you can reply “Wish I could wake you up with coffee or tea in bed”  because I would love to take you out for coffee is too mainstream and she gets it every day.  

This is how you need to flirt with her in a very healthy way and timings matter a lot here. 

Rule number 8: Build a conversation in such a way where she will text you explaining more about her. 

Randomly ask her to suggest her favourite movie or song.

“Take a picture of your screen playing that music or movie suggested by her and send it to her. she will feel low key happy about it.“

I know a lot of people will ask you not to talk about her past, but I want you to build a conversation in such a way where she gets comfortable in sharing about it because this is how you will be connected to her in another level. After achieving this stage, you no longer have to worry about above-mentioned rules much.

Explore her account and see if she has given any signs about a recent breakup. If there is any, you could raise questions like:

If someone breaks your heart, would you still believe in love? Just wondering. 

This will make any broken heart people express themselves if you follow all the above steps correctly. 

Rule number 9:  Keep it light and chill. Send her memes in between conversation. You can also mention her in comments which will make her feel like you are available for her in many other ways instead of just holding a conversation. This lightens up the mood and makes the other person chill and comfortable to talk to you.

Rule number 10: stop interrogating like 

So what do you do? 

How old are you?

How many members are there in your family?

Do you smoke?

Do you drink?

All of this can be explored later with time, make sure you keep conversation sweet and she should feel like you are interested to know about her daily life instead of exploring her personal life. 

For example: 

What are your plans for today? I’m not able to figure out how can I make my day interesting today lol, maybe you could help me add on something to my schedule today.

Note:What do you do?” can also be used only if she asked this question to you first. 

Are you a morning person or night?

You can expect a one-word answer here like “morning“ or “night”. 

But after reading all the above rules, you should know that you have to hold a conversation. If she says “morning” then come up with a reply like: 

I’m sure it takes a lot of efforts to wake up early in the morning, Finding morning people is rare, how do you manage waking up early? Just wondering. 

Similarly, if she says “night” your reply could be:

Haha sounds relatable, I wonder how do people manage to wake up so early lol? I wish I could sleep on time but I fail to do so. Anyway, I wish we could binge watch series all night together with so much food to eat haha. 

This is how you manage to hold a conversation and end it with a healthy flirting at the right time. 


long holding message + healthy flirting = A decent impression on her that may help you receive a good response from her.

Rule number 11: Try to end the conversation before she says I will talk to you later but not Always.

This usually leaves a good impression on her if you end the conversation before her. It makes her little curious to know what will happen next. It also helps you not to exhaust all the conversation ideas in one go.

It’s better to end the conversation than to say “sup”  and “aur bata” repeatedly. 

Rule number 12: Response time should be managed properly.


If she is replying the moment after you text her then make sure you are also replying at the same pace. 

Different Situations: 

  1. If she did not answer your last text on time and reply back after a few hours then make sure you still reply on time If it’s a message where she is willing to start the conversation again. 

 For example:   

Hey, sup? sorry I was busy!

Simple Hey (  I know, that’s an irony. She knows a simple hey will give you signs to talk to her again)

You can reply such kind of messages on time, But the reply needs to stand out because here she might be giving you signs to initiate a conversation again but differently. If you have followed all the above rules properly then initiating a different topic in a conversation won’t be a problem. You could say: 

“Noo, It’s completely alright. You know what? I made coffee today. I wish you were here to share it with me!”

To this, she may reply “haha I wish that too”

Now again comes the holding part, tell her “What about coffee with me and a rapid-fire game right now?” 

This is how you can carry forward the conversation. Make sure you add different topics and elements to talk about daily that will keep her interested in your conversation. Do not forget to raise topics in such a way where she gets a chance to text more than you. Do not forget to be a good listener. 

  1. If she did not answer your last text on time and reply back after a few hours BUT the message is just an answer to your previous text then do not reply fast. Take at least 1-2 hour to reply. If this situation repeats again, you should take a day gap. Try not to exceed more than that. Now once again, start initiating the conversation again only if there is an activity performed on her account and follow the above rules again. But this time you have to be:

More comfortable and frank while initiating different elements in the conversation. Do not be formal this time and try to make her feel more comfortable by asking about her likes and dislikes and then add healthy flirting to every stuff she likes:

For example:  She says “I like dancing.”

Your reply could be: “Dancing? You like it too? I wish we could dance together with some good music on the rooftop.”

Here you can also add on a plan to it.

“I heard in XXXX cafe some amazing dance events take place. We should go there someday together.”

Make her believe that you are also interested in what she likes and add healthy flirting to it so that you guys form a different bond.

You can apply all the above rules in your conversation that may help you make new friends. I wish all of you the good luck and make sure your intentions and thoughts are clear before applying these rules on anyone. 

If you get stuck in any situation, E-mail us the screenshot of your text or write down your situation, I will reply to you on my own and help you get out of that situation. 

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You can also send us a direct message on Instagram: @datingkitab

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